JINITYA

They weigh me on my looks, not that my heart was pretty to complain. I was always called 'Manhoos' for that my sight can ruin, goods that are happening.

I believed that was merely an accusation and not the truth.

How come my presence can deflect a brightest Rajputs. Until I was here, adjoint in their clan. And from years and years on end, I am watching only the fall of the almighty.

How am I not to blame, when they bore legacy of ruling, and I appeared since then its only ruining.

This entire family was suffering, seeing the fall, Ekvarthya was suffering.

But his habit of one differs so far of the another man I have known.

Never bringing the mile things away from me, Aayatee and Aaryman  related just away from us.

Him sitting in Aayatee's room with plate of food, she refused to eat at dinner table with everyone as defiance, after she was pouting because Raja-sa shouted at her for misbehaving openly with him in the market, paced around, stomping her feet shaking her head, while Ekvarthya tried to feed her one piece at a time,"He screamed at me in front of the sarpanch so I will also shout back, because why should I not!"

Her ajenda was clear, keep the same hole plate again to serve a person, if they created that hole when you served them right.

"Unless they bare the struggle of eating gravy in the same dish, they will never learn," Aayatee and her rules and games, that has been never ending with Raja-sa, she should learn better that now situation isn't the same.

When I stepped inside her room from the hallway, she followed the presence in her room with those orbs that reminds me strongly of the man I have intentionally lured into his death, she met my face with strong disregard and gulped harshly, the glid of her bite size food in her veins and throat, before Ekvarthya offered another bite, but looking at me, like always she lost the appetite and pushed his hand away.

"Not, more!" Taking the accusing eyes of nothing, because she knows nothing apart from me, she again started to throw her little tantrum sitting on the edge of her throne like bed, she demanded with crying and hunger strike when Raja-sa refused to get her one during renovation. Though the reason for denial was that she refused to learn dancing for the royal parties.

And yet made a demand for throne alike bed.

Aaryaman walked inside and threw something on Aayatee, "Raja-sa gave it, asked you to clean the windows of his meeting room because of your behaviour today," Aaryaman laughed at his sister and looked at Ekvarthya who was narrowing his eyes at the boy and I shadowed the muscled little boy, "Stop eyeing him, he will get scared,"

"What man is he, if he will be scared of his own father's eyes,"

Ekvarthya said and stood, keeping the plate down, "Now, Jyoshna let me go and talk to the man, who is creating all this ruckus in first place."

"Don't go to raja-sa, he is already so tensed with everything. Her tantrums are not worth his attention,"

"My tantrums, have you ever even been yelled at amma? You don't know the humiliation I felt when he outbursted his anger at me before sarpanch and his stupid son!

"Two people? You are just facing Aayatee. He is Raja-sa, King of Vardhgarh, descendent of Rajputs, you humiliated him before sarpanch and his son." I tried to give her reasonings. And she stood shaking her head, "Somebody else's fragile ego is not my problem, mine itself is very delicate. I will take care of it instead!"

She yet walked out of the room with her same stomping feet.

Man who calls me moonshine, was looking at me, and then down at Aaryman, who with glittering eyes was looking at his father.

He is ten, but the distance in them feels like it was built before even he was born. Truth most likely.

Fault?

Mine.

~~~~~~

My hand was shaking while I kept my hand on my mouth, emptying the content of my belly in the sink. I knew I have been behind in time perhaps, because my monthly haven't been here from long time.

But this vomiting, this dizziness, this tired feeling. Everything feels too similar to what I know before.

And I don't know how to feel about it.

Ekvarthya has been the most perfect dream of mine.

When I had left that place, I left there as criminal, verity of mine being a witch person, a manipulating and cunning woman.

Someone and everything I didn't deserve. And yet, I selfishly took all because Ekvarthya said it was fine to steal someone else's fate from time and life.

I did.

Ekvarthya, surely deserved someone more capable human being than me. He who never made me realise that I am an ugly person who makes her own daughter vomit her food when she sees my face twice while eating.

A daughter that I bred with my tears, blood and pain. And yet he a man I never knew bore me everyday in his bed, and made me believe I am the most beautiful person.

Someone's good fate I digested without guilt.

I heart the door outside and realising Ekvarthya is here, wiped tears I didn't knew I shred and washed my face, bringing my face before the reflecting even I myself would avoid, and then he opened the door suddenly looking at my reflecting from behind. "Jyoshna!" His recall,

My tears mixed with the water on my face he didn't realise thankfully. For that questions he will ask me. I would have no certain answer to give him.

His appearance on my back, with his hand escalating to my shoulder to down my hand.

"Your eyes are red Jyoshna," He said putting a kiss behind my ear, burnt side.

He didn't stop there, not with the kiss neither with the question,

"Whose next head on the quillotine it will be?" His fingers bound my waist between my creamé saree and red blouse, simple.

One that Ahilya and Samaira always insisting buy for me, whenever they themselves shop for these things, knowing well I wouldn't be able to ask them or other male authorities of this family with my own mouth.

Reasons being, that I would forever feel like a forced burden on their shoulder, unlike Aayatee who never stops making everyones living hell.

The kiss simply moved on my ear lobe, "Why Jyoshna?"  His question again,

I shook my head, taking his lips away from me, and turning around, keeping my palm on his chest. The face worth of avoidance before him.  

He didn't hesitate, pulling my chin.

I am not sure what I feel right now, and to tell him my own uncertainty feels wrong.

I shook my head, dropped my eyes that he found guilty and started to walk away from his grip, occupying myself with chore.

"I had dream, about my past! Nothing else," I lied, ascending all the bottles in line, I walked outside the bathroom.

He was right behind me, "If I could. I would kill him once again. Maybe more dreadful death,"

The words feel true, and I only laughed shaking my head.

"And I would not want you to," My words by the threshold of the bathroom. Almost in my bedroom.

But the shadow on my back overpowered my ability to walk, him holding both my upper arm with his own two hand, "What do you mean?"

He asked me, worriedly,

No, not because I regret it.

"Because I don't want you to share my sin," The words crystal before him, he made me turn around facing him.

"Sins were always and only mine, Jyoshna, killing that spit stain in name of man was rather my redemption. Everyday, I wonder how much more I can love you both for it to really be satisfying for me, because no matter what, and how much. I am never certain that my given is my last possible amount of love I can gather to share. Every time, I look at you both? It only multiplies into 100s,"

This man deserves to know that he is going to be father of his own child.

He really should know,

But I can't tell him the moment I mentioned Naresh in front of him.

"Jyoshna?"

He asked me again, calling me from my slumber.

"Nothing, Ekvarthya. Please, nothing," I said and went towards my wardrobe trying to hide my face. I felt him nearing me, but he halted halfway.

He stood there for the running clock until I can believe so it was past a minute, and finally he shook his head from what I see with my peripheral vision, "If you want time Jyoshna, I would give you, for you. Not Naresh, never that man. So if you are to cry another tear for a man who should lick left behind dust of your sandals, then I will stand here until you speak your mind with me,"

"I want time, Ekvarthya. Your Jyoshna needs time," I spoke my authority and him nodding, took two steps back and instantly walked out.

~~~~~~~

EKVARTHYA

"She wants time? What does that mean? Why would someone suddenly need time after 5 years of marriage and 7 years of knowing her and killing that bhes?"

I stomped inside Daharthya and Ahilya's bedroom, where Ahilya was on the bed and Daharthya was on the floor before her, one knee and his hand in hers.

"Whatever this is? Do it later! I want answer right now, Ahilya what does it mean, that she needs time, now?"

Both of them looked at me with unbelievable look and then Daharthya stood on his feet, "If only, I didn't want 'Killer of his own brother' written in my biography, this day wouldn't have ended pretty!" Daharthya started to walk outside angrily.

"You can attack me brother, it won't be in your biography still," I looked at Ahilya, halted before I spoke my due, "It would have been on mine,"

The casually walking out, and my attention again to Ahilya I repeated my question, "Why do you think I know the answer? Go to Samaira,"

"It will take me till tomorrow for only decoding her words, and then to realise we both were overthinking and eventually she gave me mantra to ruin my marriage like she does hers,"

I narrowed my reasons before I tried sitting on a chair across her bed, I waited, I looked at her, she only looked blanked face at me, then I sat.

"She woke up, she was crying in bathroom, she said she dreamt about Naresh, and then she said please please, nothing and then, when I asked I will give her time and not because of Naresh, she said she needs time. Why?"

I shouted the why, and Ahilya with blank face only shook her head.

"When she asked give her time, so let her have it, its not like you gender care about women in day, go to her at night, if she still refuses? You hurt her,"

"Not every marriage is like yours Rani,"

"That's why you ran in my room to ask for my opinion,"

"Look at my options, it's worse or worst? Marriages,"

Ahilya only laughed, "At least not one sided marriage!" Taunted and stood.

"Give her time, if she asked for it. And stop being Jasvanthya," She said and went inside her bathroom to get ready for the day probably, "Come on, at least I asked her with my own mouth if she needed the time,"

We both walked over Jasvanthya when he wasn't even here and exited the room.

Hoping, only hoping its nothing bad, nothing like, Jyoshna feeling she did a mistake by marrying me.

~~~~

The day was swift, with casual roasting Jasvanthya and Samaira, walking on nerves of Ahilya and making Daharthya aware of how stupid his idea was,

Apparently from last 3 years, rain has visited the town as much Jasvanthya gets to visit Samaira. Almost none times.

And the farmers have grown nothing from long time.

One year, they managed in savings, another year they barely survived, and it was third year. Since their were no grains of our own, the exported grain from other parts of India were being brought, but at cost of what?

The transportation amount, the price differences, the third party seller, and what not of craps.

Which made, the rice that went by 15-20 per kg when grown in our own town, were now, 50-60 at costing.

How can farmer family's whose life depended on agriculture would survive this differences.

My smart brother found one solution, to this famine. That he inserted his own money from pocket into transportation, exporting costs, and sold the items in original price rather than market enhanced price.

And, doing this time I understand the need. But how long is he going to feed a town of thousands from his own pocket?

Yet, he didn't took the offense in my jokes, and only replied with slight humor of his own.

Giving time of whole day to my Jyoshna, I finally was ready to see her beautiful face, but before I went to meet Aayatee who I haven't seen from last one hour.

She feels distant, one hour? How could she? I went across her bedroom, to meet her when I watched her crying so loudly.

She was just seven, throwing a fit on her mother, "No! He will love that child more! He will not love me! He will not love me because I am not his child, he will hate me! He will hate me like Shvarti's father hate her after his own daughter was born! No!"

~~~~~~~

JINITYA

If only I had told him, at that moment outside bathroom. Perhaps, Aayatee's unsung hurt would have never caught him so strongly that he started to give crumble of love to his own son.

I know though, he loves him more that anything in this world, maybe for the fact more than Aayatee.

But what is love any worth if ain't before the one who needs it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh the pain!!!!

I literally don't feel positive about this chapter.

But who cares?

Don't forget to comment down as much as possible!!!!!!