Is a bequest of birth, and not every child is entitled to one.
Twins above me, children of my parents, kin of mine.
Were served always the complete plate, fragments were bequest of mine.
Sister, protection was her birthright,
Forgotten the need for mine.
Brother, Inheritance was his chosen title,
Not a queue, was I in the race.
Allowance of their own decisions. Given upon every children of Agnivanshi blood,
Bequest not of mine.
I sat across on the dining table my cousin, Harshvardhan was having a brief discussion with my father. Both of us of same age, 20 yet, my father's prideful eyes on his interest for business and winning all the right trait of Agnivanshis since birth, he was glowing as the centre of attraction in the room.
My father, Abhiraj Agnivanshi, the politician every single man dead or alive in the town knowns, stood praising him, done with his breakfast.
Meanwhile Harshvardhan turned laughing, and opening his phone, calling whoever had called him.
A good friend of his, new one.
Fairness?
I don't know how many girls he changes every week, afterall an apple doesn't fall far from tree?
Identity of his father, likewise with his brother. He was allowed for all the freedom,
While, bequest never to make my own decision.
I looked down, at my Instagram notification.
The name written in the lightest shade of black, behind a dirty white notification panel.
RajputanaDharyana
I tapped on the name, and there came the option,
RajputanaDharyaana has requested to follow you.
Option, 2,
A blue box written confirm and a simple cross, and forever she will be discarded from my list.
Ironical appearance, fallacy, that I have a choice in this decision?
Decision that was made for us since birth and young age. And then onwards treated like an option. Both of us don't have.
******
DEVRAT (15~ YEAR OLD)
I was replying to this girl on my social media account I started on my laptop without my parents knowing,
I heard a knock on my door, abruptly switching the tab to some business course I was taking in my break. I believed it was some maid, but it was not, the shadow on my back, and the hand on my shoulder that rested?
My conscious state to make my handwriting pperfect while notching notes down as man was explaining urged me into a calligrapher, given I needed to be beyond perfections. I looked above, finding my father standing with his hand on my back.
"You are consumed in your studies?"
He asked me, not a question, rather a strange statement.
"Not enough, that I don't have time for you? What is it, baba?"
Tam calls him, Dad. Aragya calls him, well. . . Mother's husband, and Harshvardhan calls him Babasaheb, but rather the slow usher in the house comes out as papa often.
Hence, I was left to call with one thing?
Baba.
He doesn't like it, from what I have felt from his reaction often. The first time I called him Baba instead of Dad, he had looked at me with scrunched nose, dissappointed eyes and mom had told me.
He doesn't like the word Baba, I tried not to call him that then,
But often time our efforts never comes to conclusion we want it to show. Leading upto, me growing up calling him Baba and he eventually moving past his distaste with that word.
He smiled, "What are you studying?"
"It's just business course," I said and shut my book and stood, "Is there something you want me to do? Want me to go? Can I take the car though?" I asked curiously, and he shook his head, smirking.
"No! And no, don't touch the car unless you are 18!"
His warning strict, but when have I ever heard what he has to say?
Right, always.
"Can you come downstairs? I and your mom has something to tell you,"
He came himself to call me?
And not just him, but even my mother wants to talk to me? I didn't say anything, I nodded. He patted my shoulder and turned around departing.
I came out behind him, our haveli was huge, since the front is owned by my mother and back use to be of my grandfather, we use to live ahead only. But later when our grandfather passed away, my father took over Haveli, and now he have given each of us, left or right section on a floor.
The second floor itself has four sides, where we three siblings live, Aragya, Tamanna and me.
And the floor above us, is granted for Harshvardhan, Idhanth and Mannat.
But they don't live here so its mostly empty, Harshvardhan wanted to shift on second floor with us, given he wanted to be part of rather the Abhiraj Agnivanshi children part, but Tamanna's zid made it never to occur that way. So he lives alone on third and last floor of the haveli.
We turned on the first corner to pass down staircase and then from backyard we have to walk till front, and then re-enter haveli. Longest route to take because, we can't cross by the corridor of Aragya's side of the Haveli. Strictly.
Something even Abhiraj Agnivanshi has to follow. Mostly because he wants to avoid conflict with his son.
We came downstairs to the meeting room of my father. Where my mother was already sitting waiting for us.
She smiled the moment I entered, visions perhaps? Because it appears so they were apologetic eyes.
She was sitting on the sofa with table in the centre and on the table was kept a brand new phone box.
Aragya got phone when he was was seven, and Tamanna when she was eleven.
I am fifteen, right now,
Fairness never was a trait running in my household. I sat cross from my mother, and Baba went over next to mom sitting beside her.
I smiled brightly looking at the cell phone.
"The only child of mine who diligently waited till his almost passing out final 10th grade for phone! Like I wanted,"
Baba said proudly.
His orthodox mindset even in the latest generation of now, he had this rule none of his children followed, even Harshvardhan, he was given phone at age of four because he lived in London with Uncle Aadheesh.
Baba gestured me to take the box, I held it immediately! Jumping at my wits.
"Thanks Baba and mom," I said opening the box, the latest Z flip version of phone I wanted. I checked out, opening the big phone screen, turning it rather in a tablet from a central phone.
"Do you like it?" Mom asked me and I nodded. "Yes! Love it!"
I gave my gleaming smile to them.
Maybe they hadn't been the fairest parent, but I never had another pair to call mine and love them more in unfairness.
The saddest part of a mistreated child is, they can never make their parents learn what feeling of being secondary is like.
And thats why, when they turned to each other passing a look, I, a candor child watched that this meeting wasn't about the phone.
They inhaled together, but only my mother exhaled in remorse.
My father looked rather tense, maybe first time ever from what I have seen since my birth. "Devrat, we want to tell you something."
My mother started.
My father pushed his hand forward to my mother, asking her to halt. My father would never quiet my mother, the ecstasy of the situation soon turned into intensity that felt like a knife on my throat, and spoken words further by my father,
Never knew, would only be a ruin I am to endure not a day, two of my life but years and ahead decades to come, even my last breath.
"Devrat, I will talk to you not like a father who would praise your achievements and smile on your jokes. I want to speak to you as Babasaheb who had once made a decision for you. And would like you to abide, holding pride in it."
Has my father disown my rights to this family before my birth?
"When you were four-year old, I had betrothed you to someone,"
Furthest end of the room, I could hear something shatter. I remember turning around to see if my illusion took over my constructive brain because whatever felt too real.
The pained soul screams loudest, in high-pitch. But not every loudest voice is pained.
Betrothed is not an unfamiliar concept for me.
Maybe because subtly how many times it have been mentioned, often around me. The need of all those stories are rather making direction, the sudden facts on how many successful betrothed couple since birth have died together happy often times on dinner table is rather a valid reasonable topic.
I don't know how many clock strike, but I sat just here unaware to grasp how to react to something like this.
What are the baits here? What am I getting thrown over this situation in return of?
What is my loss now that I am in this situation?
My mother stood from her seat beside my father, she came around the table and sat beside me. "Don't listen to one word your father spoke, Devrat. This information is nothing that should have come out like this and spoken like an obligation."
She looked at baba and returned to me.
"Devrat, when you were four, your father made an extra choice for you without your permission. One which isn't mandated. Take this as something, that is being asked upon you? That, Devrat there is a girl who we believe is very good for you, and we would like you to give her a chance for us? But that doesn't mean, that you have to like it, accept it despite whatever you feel. You say a no, and its a no for everyone!"
An indeed calmest way to break a news and your child's heart.
But the fifteen year old me, who was looking thorough girls on social media a moment ago. Was told, that the option is never even there for you.
And not just me? Its not even there for that girl.
"But, mom? I do not have the choice here, it's not a decision of mine to make alone? Because whoever this girl is, she is somewhere sitting in hopes of someone like me too? What if? . . . I don't like her but she likes me? Would you still say I have the choice to make here? A choice to make for both of us?"
I was fifteen, unsure what this concern came from.
But all I know is, betrothed is a situation which isn't reversible! I am never going to be lucky enough to find love, none that I am looking for. Maybe because I already know who is mine.
But knowing now, well aware all that attraction and love, right I thought of mine, is not anymore.
My mother sat in silence, "And what if? I like her, and she doesn't like me? Will she be offered the same platter from her family?" I questioned, a rather straight dagger, to which my mother looked at my father.
Who only sat, "I am betrothed? What if I fall in love with someone else? And I still have to marry her? What if she falls in love with someone else and she still marry me? What do we do mother? In this lies you conduct about choice? Do we have? "
I stood, and my mother abruptly nodded.
"Yes! Her family would never want her in a situation, like we would never want you in one! An unfaithful marriage? A diabolical relation! None of us family wants it!"
And yet both the family made that decision, because somethings are not again what is correct? It's situational, and you can undo what is happening with you but you can't undo what has happened for you.
"Who are we talking about here? Which family?" I questioned straight and my father stood with rather poker face. "Rajputs!"
"Rajputs? The falling monarchy? Yes, mother, they would give option to their child! Or me a room for denial for a matter of fact!" First time I spoke in such disrespect with my mother, my father not standing by on this,
"That's good then! You know your paths well! Its a clear deal, You will marry her. " My father's last word.
"Abhiraj!" My mother's last resort.
******
Present ~
I clicked on the blue box.
"Devrat," I heard my mother call me by the door of dining room, while she passed by.
I took my walk down standing, tired of watching Harshvardhan's smug talking with this girl on phone.
I found my mom in an entrance foyer.
"Rajputs send you gifts, for your birthday, "
I watched the entrance filled with baskets and boxes. "You should revert them with a thank you gifts!"
My mother picked a box and looked at the name on top of it, "Oh, it's Daira's gift!" She said handing it to me. I held it, looking at the top. Name written so big of mine.
To,
Devrat Agnivanshi,
From Dharyana Rajput
My trapped guilty cough held in between my conscience. I kept it down. My once made mistake, she didn't let go her grudge.
Writing full name, "Mm, Actually? Dharyana had called me, and she said if she can meet you on your birthday?" My mother's true intentions behind calling me.
"She is too young? Rajputs won't allow that, won't they?"
I hope they don't.
Mind me not, in last few years, I made my peace with my situations, but I would like to avoid taking lead on a permanent leash, as long as I can.
"I think, if she asked me? It should be something she had discussed already? She just got her first phone too, she also asked for your number, not to me, Tamanna!" My mother clarified.
I nodded, I got the gist when I received her follow request!
"I will see,"
*****
Her message didn't come far too late then her follow request,
RajputanaDharyana wants to send you message.
I opened it knowing she won't be able to see I have seen her,
But right at midnight! She had texted me.
12:00, RajputanaDharyana
Happy Birthday,
First ever midnight, birthday wish.
My family doesn't make big deals about Birthdays, unless it's of twins.
I replied to her,
12:01, DevratAgnivanshi
Thank you,
She was already typing. . . Even before the message hit the box.
12:01, RajputanaDharyana
I hope Taara Maa told you about my request?
Taara maa?
She seems to be in much acceptance with the situations then I would ever be.
12:03, DevratAgnivanshi
Yes, I will see you tomorrow at Bandhni Cafe, at 04:30?
12:03, RajputanaDharyana
Would work! Bye, good night! Birthday man now that you are 21!
12:05, DevratAgnivanshi
Bye.
*******
"Happy Birthday Devrat!" My entire family along with Aamira Maa, Aadheesh Uncle and Idhanth who had flew over day before yesterday evening from London greeted me the moment I had entered,
My mother keeping my favourite dishes on the table along with the helpers.
I sat across from my mother's happy eyes into witnessing me, while I smiled to Aamira maa.
"How have you been, Aamira Maa?"
I asked her,
"Good as always,"
"What you had to do for making Idhanth visit India this time?"
I scoffed a question to which Idhanth paid attention from his phone scrolling thorough instagram girl's pictures.
"White skin was getting boring!"
He scoffed,
I laughed,
Not on his joke, but his freedom, "Not everyone is lucky like you? To have fix dates on Birthdays afterall? We have to work hard for our birthday bashes crowd!"
I raised my brow immediately he doesn't mention something like this openly, I only told him because I felt comfortable, but now? I looked at Tamanna, she doesn't seem to have any idea on the matter from her looks, neither did Mom, her eyes questioned if I did indeed accept the request she had asked me about one week ago.
I wouldn't have accepted it, I had decided not to until Idhanth asked, and my reply was I will be chosing not.
But the message last night?
I know one thing, I am going to do is always carry out my duty no matter what, and my duty to this girl states, if she made the effort to ask my entire family for setting up a date for us on my 21st birthday.
I stand by not much to say no for.
******
"Won't make this awkward for you! But, treat her well!" My mother said when she watched me descend the stairs to leave by the main door.
"Yeah,"
I sat down in the car, driving across from the Rajkot Haveli driveway to the obscure end, my college mates said first visit them before going anywhere.
They were the most excited ones that officially I have turned legal age of drinking. And since it was only three, I decided to go by them first.
Parking my car outside a drink and dance bar that my friend opened after he had turned 21. I walked outside my car, and walked upstairs towards the central dance area where on the leather sofa they were sitting.
They cheered the moment I entered, "And there comes our shera!" They said happily.
Loudly.
Empty soul, rather not a pained one,
But I always come back to this circle of people, because often time when your home lacks to be a sanctuary of relaxation, you learn to find peace in your chaos.
The bar was closed and only the friend circle was here, one of them stood with bottle in his hand, "I don't have much time-"
I started but I know, I was thrust with bottle in my mouth.
Any memory after that is rather blur.
But I remember one thing vividly.
Me standing across from my mother at 01:00AM of night while she was disgusted by me.
She mentioned how my father, quit drinking for her, quit smoking for her. Only for her son at 21 turn out to be a drunkard who came home in half unconscious state.
I remember that disappointment in her face,
Funny thing? Some of us, will never be able to make it as pride of family but always an easy route to dissappointment.
And one last question of hers,
"Did you meet Daira? Did you drop her back or not before you came home like this?"
Daira?
Right. I was suppose to meet Dharyana today.
Sucks, empty start to once going to be an empty marriage.
**************************************
EVERY COMMENT COUNTS INTO MAKING OF NEXT GENERATION.
Write a comment ...