Disclaimer:

This chapter is a work of fiction and does not intend to disrespect or target any religion, belief, or community. The views, dialogues, and actions expressed by the characters are purely imaginary and do not reflect any real events or individuals. All religions are equal and deserve the same respect. Please read with an open mind and understanding.

AARYAMAN

Humanity should be the biggest religion.

After Hinduism.

My body was held by grown men, I remember smell of each and every single one standing beside me, I can hear the curses they spoke, I can hear the preachers preaching to the wrong, I remember the feeling of sweat across my body, I remember the loud voice I was screaming in, and mostly I remember how it approached me.

Exactly, how my most painful memory approaches me.

Every night in my sleep, I was thrown across with yet another nightmare, I threw my body in a sitting position, inhaling, exhaling.

Heart beating in my ears, and before my eyes the window, across that window, a dark night.

A man can be all, never a victim.

Says Raajvanshya. 

Hence, a man can be a sufferer, yet not a victim, man can be injured yet never one who complains.

Correct.

I stood, sliding off from my bed and standing by the wardrobe, over my sweaty body I wore a black long-sleeve t-shirt before I rolled the sleeve across my arm, wore my shoes and picking the wallet from corner table, I was set outside.

I walked down towards my parents room given the key of the car will be there, I am yet not given a car, nor the authority to drive one at 17.

I went by the doorsteps of their room, the door was closed, I inhaled, and I prepared myself before I pushed the handle and slowly opened the door, thankfully both were sound asleep. Just by the side table, I took the keys and silently with heavy feet, I walked away from there.

On the entrance of the haveli, I found my father's car, sitting inside his jeep. I roared the engine, direct reverse and then turning around to driving away.

I have two cousin brothers and two cousin sisters, one step-sister.

And yet, the nights that turn darkest for me, my reliability on human race takes different turns.

Raajvanshya dislikes me, because I am not psychotic like him. Eklavya dislikes me because I am his competition into what he likes to believe, like any sane person in our family will give him the second regime after Raajvanshya.

Everyone knows handling that alone psycho would take over entire Raaj-ghar.

I am strictly kept away from Abhyananta by Eklavya only, well, everyone is kept away from her. And Dharyana is too busy daydreaming  her betrothed to be bothered.

And Aayatee?

I parked across from the brothel, only brothel in 4 towns, Chandravanipur, Vardhgarh, Vandigana and Jodhgarh.

A rather fancy and more internationally set-up, then a typical indian red-light area.

Everything was built aesthetically, with even the system they run is not old-times, throw money and you have a girl.

You should be certified before you are even allowed for being close to one of theirs, in case you are a maniac and hurt them, which is why, Raajvanshya never gets allowed here, well if he does come here, Samaira aunty will blow his head.

And if Raajvanshya's maniac can be confused by anyone its only Samaira aunty's complexity.

Everyone would rather chose to agree with her, rather then arguing with her holding a dictionary.

I passed by the entrance to direct in the arena with poles, bar and lap-dancing drinks on round table. I looked at indian women on poles with heavy yet not the prostitute kind cheap makeups.

I ran my eyes across in the entire arena, different and much same faces I find and across one, I also found Eraya. Who was looking at me.

And with her hand, she signed,

'Aaryaman Ekvarthya Rajput here again!'

I walked directly towards her, she was standing by the corner of the arena in darkside, approaching, I asked for her hand and she gave me not defensive, only person in many who knows a little about me. I kept a peck on her fingers before returning her hand.

She gestured, 'Another nightmare?'

I nodded, and then asked her to sit on the couch yet another darker end, she looked at the corner and then eyes across the house, I signed, 'If you want to go somewhere else? Lets?' I suggested her and she shook her head.

'You enjoy your show!' She said, and I stopped her signing hand and took her by the couch and sat her down, sitting beside her..

'Why is your mood off?' My hands worked, and she widen her eyes and then shook her head.

'Nothing,' Before she even signed halfway I said it out loud, "Nothing,"

"You and your habit of never speaking up."

She laughed, 'I am mute!' She gestured, and I rolled my eyes. 'Would you like something? Should I ask-'

"No, thank you!"

A man came across, walking by, he did once when she was signing, came again when she asked me for drinks and now he was again passing by, "What! Mother-fucker?" I shouted at him, he was eyeing her.

"She is mute, you got a good one! Lucky!" He winked, and I stood outrageous, but Eraya held me down, holding on my t-shirt. I know Eraya can't tolerate violence, because it includes yelling, shouting, and a moment a human pitch goes above few decibels, she ends up shaking because that voice frequency violates her eardrums.

I lowered my voice, and spoke in this music arena, nicely as possible, "Fuck yourself out of this arena, before I ask different men to fuck your an-" I quiet myself down, because Eraya reads lips.

I sat back down,

"You were right, we shouldn't have sat on the couch," I stood, and she looked at the arena.

Her hands made the gesture, that I should enjoy the arena, she has some work in back office.

I let her, because if she stayed here long  they would eat her from their eyes.

She is too young for anything like this. I enjoyed one or two dances from distance and before I knew I was bored, Eraya's mother and Samaira aunty have collectively decided to run only this one brothel in Rajasthan, and that too only with woman who want this instead of people pushed in this, who have nowhere to go, and nothing to do other then this are the ones working here now.

They believed after that one generation of people things will eventually fade out and brothel will shut down, but its astounding to see how many women willingly walk in this.

The brothel never closed down, instead the system only enhanced and became more technical. Visitation offline to online service, and what not?

I took money out from my wallet and kept it on the bar table with pole where they were dancing before I turned around and saw my father by the entrance door.

He had his hands crossed, eyes straight on me, he took a step forward and I slid myself two steps backwards, I am afraid of nothing and none, except.

I gulped down harshly, he did not utter a word and turned around. I once again ran my yes for Eraya before I returned my eyes towards the door. I walked outside and he was sitting in the driver seat of his jeep.

I went around and sat down on the passenger seat.

He looked at me settling down, waited for me to put seat belt and once done, he roared the car directly back in speed that for momentary I felt I will be thrown off the Jeep.

He was dissappointed, but hardly anything related to me is a matter for him, I know he loves me, I know I am his son and I matter to him, he can hide it well from Aayatee, because she goes insane if we share even a laugh with each other, but he can't hide it from me.

I am loved, but at cost of never being told or shown, that I am.

Sometimes I feel my belief for my father is a fathomable delusion, but then he would say things like this, and despite the fear I posess for him, my old man makes me feel cherished.

"Don't become another duplicate of your grandfather, we already have Raajvanshya to fill that role, half his crazy is his father and half his grandfather. But you? You are my son, and are whole me. Do you understand?"

He questioned me, and I looked at his way.

His hand on the steering wheel suggested he is aware if Aayatee had heard this, she would think he meant this as a taunt to her.

But truth lies not in it, even the dead souls can tell, there is not any inequality by him when it comes to loving both of us.

The car parked in the driveway, and when I saw my mom by the gazebo in middle of night, I came out of the car, neither any inequality by her.

She had covered herself with shawl in the breezing season, she paced herself closer taking her shawl away and handling it around me, but I stopped her halfway and kept it back on her.

"You need it more than me!" She shook her head, "I am a big man!" I assured her.

Dad taunting, "Big enough that I had to drag him out of brothel in a middle of night,"

I don't hide anything from my mother, she knew it, she must have told dad. She found my eyes and instantly shook her head, "I don't go there for anything, maa, I just-"

"Go there for Devakshaya Agnihotri's daughter!" My father interrupted, that information my mother doesn't know.

"I have nothing like that with her! I swear maa, we are just friends!" I defensively shouted.

She watched with surprised eyes and then looked at my father who was relying on his jeep's hood, elbow down.

"Eraya?" My mother asked me, "She is, she works along with Samaira's partner?" My mother questioned, my dad nodded. "She is daughter of her, the mute one!"

"Oh?" She surprised looked at me again.

"Thats unfortunate," She gave me a small look before she turned, "Lets go inside, before -"

Before Aayatee sees us, it's weird, I have to be scared for interacting and having good time with my own parents because my sister will throw her loud fit.

But before we could have departed away, there I saw her, standing by the entrance, about to lose it.

♧♧♧♧

Being 23,

I stood across the bar dancer, throwing money at her ass, this is the most latest and modern bar in the entire town, I held the bottle in air and grooved on the music, snatching the fake string in air as a step while thrusting my crotch, my looters friends joined in, and then started too grove too. One of them kept the glass on his shoulder, balancing, he thrust his crotch along.

I turned around, dancing with the other friend of mine, my stretched arm and shoulders throwing back and forth, he did the same.

My eyes ran to a women in a bar.

In this bar? Located in Chandravanipur, the most under developed mindset town?

I saw women here?

I stopped dancing, my phone ringing in my pocket, I picked it and looked at the number, it was Ekvarthya.

I pushed the red button and back in my pant, I walked towards the bar stool the women were standing by.

I went beside one of them, my head turned to this young girl, with brown hair and completely green eyes mixed with edges in brown, she looked at me and then she returned her gaze on a non-alcoholic juice, Chandravanipur ofcourse.

She looked at her friend who held the manager's hand and waving her bye, she went in on back door.

The girl sat down on the bar stool, my drink came forward.

I feel like I have seen her somewhere, but I have seen most people of Chandravanipur in minimal parties I have attended here.

She looked at me again and then on her phone. Fuck! She has keypad phone? Do they still make it?

She saw me again, and chuckling on my reaction, she drank her drink.

Her reaction initially was scared if I did not read it long but it instantly turn cheerful after looking in her phone.

Can she google in that thing who I am?

Because usually woman turn grinning after they know I am from Rajput Family.

A guy ran in my shoulder from behind while asking for drink and he almost shouted his sorry, "Maafi chahte hai,"

Muslim.

I inhaled, exhaled and then watched him leave. I looked at the girl again, "Muslims! I mean, why the fuck can't they go back to where they came from? Its disgusting! They are disgusting!" I started,

"Mulliya hai saale! Ye log dheere dheere khaa rahe hai sab kuch aur ek he Ghar mei 10 bacche sab kachre jaise unka sabka rishta bhi ek saath mei , aur sabse jyada ye log hate karna chahiye inhe kyuki they don't respect our Gou-mata,"

(They are damn Muslims, hollowing us slowly, birth almost 10 of kids in same house and even marry within themselves! Most hateful thing? The don't respect our Gou-mata)

She looked at me astounded, "I am Aaryaman, you are?" I began to ask her, but she got call on her keypad phone and she stood leaving to take the call.

Reminding me even I have one buzzing phone in my pocket.

Taking it out, I brought it to my ear,

"Where are you?"

He questioned me, "What do you want?"

"Aaryaman! I can hear the music behind!"

"Fuck the questionnaires Bade Hukum, spit the concern, or if you have none legit one? I can cut the call?" I waited and he did not respond, "Your mother is looking for you, so you better return home before I track you from wherever you are tainting Rajputana name!"

"We have Aayatee for that, hold your leash on her first!" I hung up the call.

I looked for the girl but I couldn't find her. Now now, and not even in the entire bar for next few hours.

I think she went, or maybe found some other person, either way.

She was astoundingly weird, keypad phone in todays generation? Mystery.

♧♧♧♧♧

Raja-sa sat far end on the dining table, as usual everyone were on the table. Because we can miss a heartbeat not a mandatory family dinner.

I was engrossed in my food when Aayatee took the carrots from my plate sitting beside me.

"Have from there!"

"I don't feel full unless I steal it from your plate!" She said, and Abhyananta laughed but felt envious because she and Eklavya don't share any bond.

I held my plate out towards her, "You have too!" I said and she did push her hand away taking a carrot and eating it.

"Eklavya eyed her for it, but said nothing because of course everyone were on the table, Aayatee stole my fritters and I held her neck from back, she shouted, she shouted? She knows better self defence then even Raajvanshya.

And my father stood but my mother held his hand, "They are just teasing each other!"

"I am not! I intend on this," I hissed to her before standing and throwing my entire plate on hers.

I broke the plate with its pieces now in her food.

"Eat that!"

Raja-sa looked at me, "I have decided whom I want to take to Abhiraj's right-hand man's retirement party!"

He said, for that Raajvanshya was dying to go, Eklavya was dying to go.

"You will come with me,"

Raajvanshya snatched a look at me that suggested he would prefer killing me this moment if it means he will get to go.

I did not understand why I was chosen.

But sitting beside Raja-sa in the car while he drove there alone because he have built that level of trust with Agnivanshi.

He spoke and told me why I was chosen, "No one knows it more than me that you have a lot of rage for what you have gone thorough, but look at them. . ." He said gesturing from his car parking lot to directly inside party where in distance one can see Abhiraj, his brother and his right hand man standing with Devakshaya Agnihotri.

Eraya must be here.

"They have gone through pain and with the rage, what they did is built themselves and built this, instead of destroying everything that came in their way. You have to learn directing your rage into your success story, everyone once who have done wrong? From being a painful memory to becoming only a variable in your biography! Do you understand me?"

He asked me, and I looked at Raja-sa and nodded.

"Where are you going to direct your rage?" He asked me, and I looked at him.

Your throne.

I did not say a word.

♧♧♧♧♧

I stood beside Eraya who looked at me smiling, she started to sign but I was halfway mouthing, "Did not expect to see you here," She asked me, and I nodded.

"Yes, me neither!"

She started, "That's my uncle retiring!" Her hand dropped on uncle itself while I completed the words for her.

"I know!" I said, but what my ominous vision found after that I know is the girl I don't know.

"Keypad phone," I whispered, and Eraya couldn't understand, she was standing with some guy, wait thats Vidhantya? Vidyut uncle's son!

She pulled my shirt, jerking her chin, "Who is th-"

Her hands gestured, keeping on chest for 'My' and making a C by her chin, 'Cousin'

"My cousin," I nodded, she must be Raagyata.

She was standing with Vidhantya, is she committed or something? They seem close, I looked at Eraya, who signed, "They are best friends!" She said hooking her fingers together.

I made an oh,

But while we were talking, in distance her father found us talking, and he walked towards us. Devakshaya Agnihotri, I remember being shit scared of him because of all Eraya's stories.

Him approaching, I broaden my shoulder and stood straighter, "Eraya, won't you introduce me to your so good friend?"

"Dad," She signed and involuntarily as habit I mouth it for her, he looked at me estranged.

"Can I borrow my daughter for a minute?" He asked me,

And I said, "Yes sir! I mean, she is all yours!"

"I know," he said smugged,

I smiled to Eraya while they walk away.

My eyes drifting, being alone in this party, covered with half Muslims. Why Daiwik Agnihotri have so many Muslims in his party?

He is taint on Hindu's name. I inhaled, exhaled and rolled my eyes.

Vidhantya who was with the Keypad girl approached me, and he said hello offering me a scotch, "Aaryaman," I took it,

"You dissapeared in Chandravanipur? Haven't seen you since one year!" I said and he shoulder jerked, "Just," Keypad girl came running to Vidhantya and saw me, taken aback.

"Vidh-"

"She is Azariah Agnihotri,"

"Hello," I said to her casually, and she smiled brightly, bringing her fingers together and then bringing them by her eyes,

"Adab!"

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